My 1-year-old makes high-pitched noises not meant for human ears. The last time she screeched, three falcons landed in our yard.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2013
If you ask me how to spell something and I don’t have my phone to Google it, I’ll laugh nervously, light something on fire, and run away.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2013
According to my bank account, I’m headed toward my first $1 million. I only have $999,984 to go.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2013
Crack addicts would fit in better if they funded their habit with bake sales and lemonade stands instead of prostitution and robbery.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2013
According to “Fifty Shades of Grey,” all I have to do to fulfill my wife’s desires is be a billionaire who has nothing in common with me.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 13, 2013
I’m very amused. Did I mention that I’m very amused? I tweeted and Stumbled. 🙂
I’m glad you liked it. It’s always fun to meet someone else as dysfunctional as I am.
You know, you should start a community organization for crackheads and teach them how to market their product in a decent and wholesome way! 🙂
I totally would except I have firm rule against helping people or doing things.