Clinical Trials: Marijuana Showing Promise in Fight Against Boredom

BLACKSBURG, VA – Scientists conducting trials concerning the use of marijuana say that in addition to peer-reviewed publications citing its effectiveness against depression, nausea, uncontrollable muscle spasms, poor appetite, seizures, glaucoma, insomnia, arthritis, asthma, Crohn’s disease, chronic pain, Alzheimer’s disease, and even several types of cancers, the substance is also showing promise in the desperate fight against boredom.

Studies showing promise

In one of the studies, subjects suffering from “nothing to do” were administered marijuana and immediately found interest in the shapes of their hands, the ingredients on the side of a Doritos bag, and alternate spellings for the word C-A-T.

Many college students have come out in large numbers to volunteer for continued marijuana studies. It is believed that recent pushes from Congress to boost science funding and television programming such as the “Cosmos” series are responsible for the students eagerness to aid in the progress of science.

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5 thoughts on “Clinical Trials: Marijuana Showing Promise in Fight Against Boredom”

  1. Also its just another perfect time to look over to your significant other and say “can i hit that”, could lead to getting two birds with one stone

  2. Why didn’t they have these clinical trials when I went to college? It would have made some of those fondue and wine-in-paper-cups parties a lot more fun.

    1. Why didn’t I know you in college Kathy? We would’ve rocked the science labs with our fondue forks. And if they were running these clinical trials then, it would’ve never have gotten old…

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