The trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey is out, and the film will hit theaters on Valentine’s Day of 2015. Because I have nothing better to 
do, I have been thinking of fun ways to promote this long-awaited movie. I thought Jared Jewelers might want in and market a brand of diamond studded handcuffs or perhaps Hallmark can partner with the filmmakers and offer a line of Fifty Shades of Grey “love” cards to celebrate both the picture’s release and the most romantic day of the year. I really like the card idea as the messages could be simple and genuine, and they would fit into every kinky person’s personal budget. Here are some suggestions and for the record, I have no pride; I will take money for my ideas.
With whips and chains you stole my heart
Now from you I cannot part
********************
Bondage and cuffs are my thing
No need to get me a Diamond Ring
*******************
Fifty Shades of Grey will fuel the flames
When our romance is based on weird sex games
********************
You’re the master and I’m the slave
There’s no part of me I will not shave
And finally:
A little bit of pain makes me wail
But with a few safe words, no one goes to jail.
well, you get the idea…
Have you ever noticed that car washes sell great cards? These would make perfect car wash cards.
You are so wise Mary! They do have great cards!
Jill Y is fond of drinking tea. Can we have “Fiddy Shades of Earl Grey”?
Another great marketing idea, Bill Y !
“Tie one, get one free” for your local supermarket card aisle promo?
Or for Home Depot, “rubber hose is my thing, buy two feet and we’ll have a fling!”
I see you gave this so much thought E.V.! HA HA!
Well, if Hallmark won’t bite, you can always go to Staples, buy some blank cards, print your own and sell them on the Black Market.
It loses the fun if someone like Hallmark doesn’t bite!
Hehe!
Hey let’s flurt. I promise to make it hurt! That’s my WalMart version of the cards.
Hey, Walmart needs to be represented!
“You tied me with rope.
“Your love I can hope.”
I see you have given this lots of thoughts Dr. De Lancey!
“Diamond-studded brushes are forever.” – DeBeers
Thanks for a great post that is probably even better than the book!
Thanks Suzette! Maybe we should write a better version?
Like John Cougar Mellencamp says, Come on baby make it hurt so good! Funny post!
HA HA! Deb!
I never read the book, but I think you summed it up nicely, at least according to the comments I’ve heard about it. Good luck with your card ideas – I’ll bet if you rented a card rack, you could sell them outside theaters everywhere 😉
Not a bad idea Theresa!
Donna,
Loved your ideas for Shady cards. Great post!
Pattie
Thank Pattie! I thought it was a golden marketing idea but we shall see. Thanks for reading and commenting!