First Day At Work

The most unusual thing happened to me last week. I was visiting family in Connecticut and I ran into a long-lost friend from high school. He’d just started working for a large Wall Street investment bank. When I asked about his job, he told me about what happened on his first day at work.

For most of us, the first day involves reading an employee manual and meeting co-workers. We spend time learning to navigate the company’s computer network. But my friend’s first day was nothing like that. His employer skipped all the administrative stuff and went straight to training.

For the first session, he was led into a room. A stern-looking guy was sitting behind a large desk wearing a robe. And for the next hour my friend stood before this guy and practiced saying “I neither admit nor deny the charges Your Honor.”

He did this over and over, until his tone was just right.

Then my friend was led into another room, where he stood at the top of a fake set of stairs. A group of people (likely other employees of the firm) came in clutching cameras and microphones and stood at the base of the stairs. And for the next hour my friend practiced saying “I am looking forward to my day in court.”

It didn’t sound like much fun. I’d much prefer a job where my first day involves finding out where they keep the doughnuts.