Happy Meal Diplomacy

In life it’s important to be able to admit when you’re wrong. Stubbornly holding on to an erroneous position isn’t good. Much like a will, it’s a dead giveaway (that you’re too insecure to admit your mistake).

So this is where I now find myself regarding my position on fast food. For years I’ve considered companies like Burger King and McDonald’s to be the bane of humanity – the slave wages, the slow-killing of customers, the hair-born grease fires, the hard plastic seats and oppressive lighting reminiscent of an interrogation room.

But recently I read an article about the military. Apparently, retired military generals are warning that U.S. kids need to slim down and shape up or the US won’t have enough young people to fight in years to come. According to the article, more than three-fourths of Americans ages 17 to 24 aren’t eligible to join the military because they are overweight.

But if we can’t field a military, we won’t be able to start wars in the future. And that sounds like a good thing to me. So I’ll admit I was wrong. I’m now pro-fast food and I think I owe Ronald McDonald a big apology.

I’m starting to realize that life is just like the Tea Party – it’s never black and white.

Yes, I know. We need to keep an eye on national security. So why don’t we just open fast food franchises wherever our “enemies” live? Eventually they won’t have anyone to fight either. And then we can all go back to watching Funny Or Die.