Inventors, We Salute You! | HumorOutcasts

Inventors, We Salute You!

April 24, 2014


Every great invention starts with a thought. It’s a moment when the proverbial light bulb goes off and a truly great idea emerges. Sure, we’ve all heard the stories about how Alexander Graham Bell invented the Graham Cracker or how the French duo Jacques Hone and Pierre Buket came up with the Honey Bucket. But it’s the lesser known inventions that intrigue me.

Here are some of the finest to date:

The Singing Pitch Aid


In 2008, a burly guy with a deep voice longed to sing falsetto. His dream was to be like Robert Plant hitting the high notes. His invention was simple – swing your head until contact is made and repeat as needed.

Electric Car


In 1984 Larry thought he’d come up with the perfect electric car. A dump truck thought otherwise. RIP.

Equal Opportunity Gangster Wear


Have you ever seen someone with their pants almost falling off their butt and thought “I could do that but I’m just too fashionable to go there.” One woman in Japan did a few years ago. The results (with built in jean-thong) are simply amazing. They’re tight.



Do you fret about the waste you produce as a First-World citizen? Do you find that throwing away even a single match fills you with extreme guilt? It did for the guy who invented this.

The Down On De-Corner Tool


Almost choking to death while shaving corn off a cob with your teeth is no laughing matter. After switching to baby corn for a few disappointing years, it inspired one guy to invent something like this.

Home Slip-And-Slide Kit


A Slip-And-Slide made from old roof shingles seemed like a cool way for this dad to teach his kids the value of recycling. But something about the slip-factor was off.

And probably the best lesser-known invention ever:

The Wearable Mini-Menorah


Feeling left out at the office party, a woman in 2006 came up with this. Great idea, but eye injuries doomed it to the same fate as the Home Slip-And-Slide Kit.

We salute you!

Thomas Sullivan

Thomas Sullivan is the author of So Much Time, So Little Change (a book of essays published by Wayman Publishing). It is available at Amazon in print and Kindle. Thomas lives in Seattle.

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15 Responses to Inventors, We Salute You!

  1. April 25, 2014 at 8:00 am

    Once the 3D printer is created for public use, we should be seeing even more great (ahem) inventions.

    • Bill Y Ledden
      April 25, 2014 at 2:07 pm

      This is real touchy subject for me. I was talking to smart people about a 3D printer that prints 3D printers but they were having none of it.

  2. April 24, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    Send their award to the Mother of inventors, Necessity. I hear she has a basement full of underused inventions!

    • April 25, 2014 at 7:44 am

      That basement must be cluttered beyond terror.

  3. Kathy Minicozzi
    April 24, 2014 at 5:29 pm

    I would like to get hold of whoever invented the chillow. I bought two of those things, used one of them for a while, figured out it wasn’t going to give me the cool head I needed to sleep all night and got rid of it.

    • April 25, 2014 at 7:46 am

      Did you try their sister invention, the Brillow (a pillow made from Brillo Pads)? I heard it worked great.

      • April 25, 2014 at 11:52 am

        You mean… grate!

  4. April 24, 2014 at 4:35 pm

    Now that is what I call deep research. Loved it!

    • April 25, 2014 at 7:49 am

      Thanks. They hide this info to protect valuable trade secrets (I think).

  5. April 24, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    Sometimes you kill me! hahaha

  6. April 24, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    That singing pitch ad invention must have come from the Spanish Inquisition or something. And to think these inventions didn’t make the best in history list!

  7. April 24, 2014 at 1:52 pm

    May I just say, “hahahahahahahahaha!!”

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