I’ll admit that I’m not always the sharpest tool in the shed. For example, the other day I saw an article titled “Bank Under Fire For Hiring Practices.” I read through the article but didn’t find a single mention of a guy named Practices, which seemed like such a strange surname. Yes, I eventually figured it out.
But other times my brain clicks like a precision Swiss watch. At a party recently, someone said “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” I got all up in his face, our heads almost touching, and said “Oh really? Then why do banks have branches?”
So we’ve established that I’m hit or miss. Well, I’m here to tell you that today I’m all hit. I’m full of hit. Because Sunday is Mother’s Day, which means if you don’t live close enough to take Mom to brunch you need to send her the perfect gift. And here it is:
Nothing says “I love you” quite like taxidermy. I found this on a website article called “Things You Buy While Drunk.” If you wanna know why newspapers are struggling, this is your answer — they never have articles about things you buy while drunk. Anyways, this is the perfect gift.
Okay, I might be wrong. Maybe this one should go to your mother-in-law.
Just remember — Norman Bates practiced on small critters before he mummified his mom.
So if you are going to give dead things to your Mom, you’d better make sure that she has never seen “Psycho.”
Sharing!!
If it helps, I once told my mom to stuff it.
Ha, excellent first step on your personal journey to embracing taxidermy.
I want this gift. This is too cool for words!
I soooo want a horse AND a squirrel.
Okay who spilled the beans, I bought you the horse and squirrel for your imaginary birthday!
I imagine it was wonderful.