Tasteful Murders | HumorOutcasts

Tasteful Murders

October 5, 2014

Tasteful MurdersWe have a treat today from the editing team of Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey. This duo collected stories from talented writers for the fun and frightful Tasteful Murders. A well-done murder should leave a good taste in the survivor’s mouth, like a delicious dinner accompanied with pleasant conversation. Gentle reader, please enjoy this killer forty-three course feast. Bon appétit. The authors in this fine feast include:  Rose Anderson,  Judy Beaston, Tom Britz, Candace C. Bowen, Candy Burke, Dovey Mayali Cralk, Paul R. De Lancey, SK Delph, Nandy Ekle, Ellorien, Lisa Finch, Lorenz Font, Rose Gardener, Amy Buckheister Gettinger, Joyce Hertzoff, Michelle Hickman, Rob Houglan, RJ Jeffreys, V.E. Jorden, Mark Kennet, Karen M. Kidd, H. A. Lamb, Kelli Sue Landon, Sarah Laurenson, Elizabeth M. Lawrence, Desirée Lee, D.K. Mason, Eileen Matsumuro, JT Norton, Mysti Parker, Roxe Anne Peacock, Leona Pence, D.J. Pitsiladis, Pearl Prokopowicz., Sandra Riley, Riley Ross, Vivian Samuel, P.D. Shaw, Kally Jo Surbeck, M.J. Sydney, Beth Tully, Carol R. Ward, Alex Westhaven.  

For your reading pleasure we have two award-winning exerpts from the book and what the editors call the Best Bio.  Enjoy!


Award Winning Story by Karen M. Kidd


Twin Endings

It had not been easy assuming her twin sister’s life; although they were identical—their mannerisms were different. Kara still remembered the muffled screams of her twin, Kylie, as she stuffed her body inside of the cooler; dead at last. The last three weeks, had been pure bliss. Her sister was never meant to have the man of her dreams. She, after all had met him first. Tonight she would celebrate their one year anniversary. And, Raymond would never be the wiser.

Kara was warm and fuzzy all over. Raymond and she had shared the top tier from their wedding cake, and a bottle of vintage wine. She never wanted this night to end. When her head started throbbing violently…she tried unsuccessfully to lift it!!

She heard a sinister voice creep into her head.

“Oh, Kylie, you must think me a fool, to have fallen for your trickery!” Raymond hissed.

“I have been waiting a year to feed you the cake that you meant for me. I knew that you were out to kill me from the moment you said, “I do!” I was aware of the enormous life insurance policy, my dear. All I can say to you is that I hope you rot in hell…as I spend the remainder of my days, with your twin, my true love, Kara.” Raymond ignored the muffled screams of Kylie as he held his strong hand over her damp mouth. She gasped and choked on her last breaths, as Kara and Kylie…alike.

  Karen Kidd is an avid reader and writer. She is currently working on {among other projects} a Children’s series, featuring an often neglected, African American Children’s genre.


Award Winning Story by Desirée Lee


The Catered Affair

Carolina calmly chopped leeks. Her steady hand, and well-honed technique resulted in perfect, even knife cuts. She hummed softly as she worked; the soft drone helped her focus on the task.

She tossed them in the pan atop already-prepared onions, and soon the heady scent of sweating aromatics filled the kitchen. Potatoes, thinly-sliced with equal expertise soon joined the vivacious mixture, along with the briny stock, and her own special blend of seasonings. Soon, the concoction reached a rolling boil, just as she intended.

The corners of Carolina’s roseate lips quirked up as she covered the pan, and reduced the heat, letting the dish simmer, before cooling. A quick glance at the clock revealed she had plenty of time to finish, on spot with the rest of the menu. She enjoyed her job with the catering company, and this event in particular piqued her interest.

The wedding of her ex-husband, to her former best friend, nearly brought Carolina’s emotional state crumbling down. The initial betrayal of his affair wounded her heart deeply. The extravagant nuptials seemed a garish way to rub salt deeper in the wound.

Carolina’s choice to rise above the pain drew her to a solitary conclusion, replacing the hurt with an ataractic sense of serenity. She poured her heart into work; her attention to her job provided a fulfilling drive.

She ladled the vichyssoise into gilt-trimmed bowls, and admired her handiwork. Neither would taste the arsenic laced within. After all, revenge was a dish best served cold.

          Critically acclaimed, best-selling author Desirée Lee is an amalgam wrapped inside of an enigma: a book junkie, vampire and self-proclaimed geek with a fascination bent toward the dark and macabre. Find her on the web at http://www.desireelee.com.


Best Bio

Eileen Matsumuro thinks a backyard hidden from view and a well-stocked Tuff Shed is the perfect start to a great murder mystery. No one ever heard from her ex, who supposedly went to Japan to teach English…


Editors’ Bios

Candace C. Bowen is an award-winning author of full-length romance and young adult fiction. Her books can be found wherever books are sold and she can be reached through her website: www.knightseries.com.

             Paul R. De Lancey is the acclaimed writer of Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, Beneficial Murders, We’re French and You’re Not, and The Fur West. His website is www.lordsoffun.com and his blog is www.pauldelancey.com.        





Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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2 Responses to Tasteful Murders

  1. October 5, 2014 at 10:57 pm

    Thank you, Donna. I keep telling the world that murder doesn’t have to be such a downer. Thank you, Theresa, being compared to Sir Alfred is quite an honor.

  2. October 5, 2014 at 9:09 am

    I feel as if I just read excerpts from programs that will resurrect the Alfred Hitchcock hour! Loved those excerpts.

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