The New Campaign Ad

With midterm elections fast approaching, smart people are learning to shut off their televisions and turn down their radios. They block out those ads where some ominous sounding guy pimping for a candidate who’s ten points down tells you that ISIS  fighters are slipping into America to cut off your head.

But campaign advertisers also place digital ads online. Fortunately, according to the New York Times, premium web space is also running out. Digital marketing firms have already snapped up most of the good spots on YouTube, Yahoo, Pandora, etc.  So what’s a candidate to do?

Here’s what you do — starting adding political messages into online porn. That’s a huge market if you’re trying to reach men, especially ones in the Bible Belt. Just picture the ads:

Some naked, sweaty guy is working away. He saying “Ooh baby, yeah, ooh…” But then he turns to the camera and says “Bob Jones is a lifelong conservative who believes in protecting family values. He’s committed to defending your 2nd Amendment rights and standing up to the dictator in the White House. But when it comes to family…”

The guy grunts and does a hip thrust.

“… Bob Jones is all the way in.”

Total winner here. I should’ve gone into Marketing because I know there’s a very bright future in this.