Things Are Getting Better, Yo


So now books are getting cancer? Damn, what’s next? Sometimes it seems like things just get bleaker every day. ISIS is on a rampage, Ebola is running wild, and the celebrity nude-pic sites you click on keep turning out to be fakes that infect your computer. Where is the good news?

It’s in the one news source that doesn’t make me feel cheap and voyeuristic – the NY Times. Last week the Times reported about a new class of drugs that unleash the body’s own immune system to fight cancer. Apparently, cancers are able to survive and spread because they turn off the immune system in much the same way that Fox News shuts off your brain, letting fear defeat logic and cripple your sense of hope.

Please keep reading. This isn’t a typical online-news story. It actually gets better.

Researchers think these drugs will work against most forms of cancer. That’s good news. But it gets even better. The main success in clinical trials so far has been in defeating lung cancer and melanoma.

And you know what that means. You can now go back to spending the entire day on the beach, chain-smoking in your Speedo while you enjoy the sunshine and the gently pounding surf. And researchers are close to finding the perfect hangover cure as well. Once we’ve got that, dancing days are here again!

So grab the baby oil and that carton of Camels and join me on the beach. And don’t believe what you see online. Things are getting better, yo.

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9 thoughts on “Things Are Getting Better, Yo”

  1. A decent anti-virus allows you to happily, continue clicking on celebrity nude-pic sites without any fear of infection.

  2. Whoa. When my dad was undergoing chemo for cancer last year, I took him a box full of … books! Imagine how guilty I’d have felt if I took him the books *before* the diagnosis?

  3. If we get a drug that jump starts the immune system and we never get sick, what will we do with all our sick days at work?

  4. Wait a minute …. Fox News reports that the drugs switch off the immune system so the government can break through your body’s defenses and turn you into a left wing zombie who eats children. So things might not be as rosy peachy as they seem.

  5. I actually know about this one because someone close to me works for this company and they are so excited about the progress of this drug. But imagine if that is what happens? Imagine if they cure it and people just go back to their “unhealthy ways?” Damn.

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