There’s nothing like a tricked-out Honda Civic to let the world know you were too busy being a badass to finish high school.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2014
“How loud do I have to be before someone will love me?”—every guy on a motorcycle
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2014
Relationship status: My wife googled “How do I make it look like an accident?”
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2014
High school seniors, here’s a great prank you can play: Stop being self-centered ass-hats & contribute to society. No one will see it coming
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 29, 2014
“I bet you’re beautiful on the inside.”—a sensitive guy “I bet your insides are beautiful.”—a serial killer
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2014