4-year-old: How come my friend doesn’t eat meat?
Me: Not everyone likes to be happy.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 13, 2014
Me: We’re all in the same boat.
4-year-old: We’re not in a boat. We’re in the living room.
Me:
4: You should’ve paid attention in school.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 13, 2014
Me: We’re doing volunteer work today.
4-year-old: What’s that?
Me: It’s when we work for free.
4: Oh, you mean slavery.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 13, 2014
Me: Stop it.
4-year-old: *keeps doing it*
Me: You’ll make me mad.
4: *keeps doing it*
Me: You’ll make Mommy mad.
4: *stops immediately*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 13, 2014
4-year-old: Can we have macaroni and cheese for Thanksgiving?
Me: The pilgrims didn’t have macaroni.
4: Then why did they come to America?
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 14, 2014
From http://t.co/HTDVyr8D7T 4/20/14: pic.twitter.com/i56GmVS0IM
— James Breakwell (@James_Breakwell) October 7, 2014