I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’ve never seen Indiana Jones and Han Solo in the same room…
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2014
He said cheese wasn’t that great. Long story short, I accidentally stabbed him 27 times.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2014
There are 2 things you should understand about Catholics: 1) We’re completely ordinary people. 2) We can set stuff on fire with our minds.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2014
Him: Would you like to volunteer to- Me: No Him: You didn’t even hear what- Me: No Him: Let me fini- Me: *tases him*
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2014
Sorry I threw you under the bus. My first choice was to throw you under a tank.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 3, 2014