I think I’ve figured out why corporations and government agencies are harvesting all our personal data. Google has our search history, Facebook has our pictures and opinions. And the NSA has everything, even video clips from online sex sessions involving couples in separate locations. If you’re a guy engaging in that, you should tattoo the letters “NSA” on your knuckles — at least then you can make a statement.
But this data isn’t being collected for business or counter-terrorism purposes. Consider this from an article on Chris Christie:
“…he was raised to never give an inch. He grew up in the New Jersey suburb of Livingston, to parents descended from big Newark clans — Sicilian for his mother, Irish-German for his father. They argued constantly–about money, politics, about pretty much everything.
And according to the article, Mom frequently flipped the bird. We’re not talking about the turkey here.
So here’s why personal data is being gathered. In the future we’ll funnel this mountain of data through a super-computer. This will give us a crystal-clear picture of the household a presidential candidate grew up in. The candidate will try to sell us the rosy story about working in the family hardware store, but we’ll know what his formative years were really like.
Picture yourself watching a historical video of a candidate as a teen at the family dinner table. You reel back in horror and say “Holy Jesus, look at them go! This is like championship wrestling! The poor soul, that must’ve been hell. Okay, who’s next?”
I know this sounds mean, but we need to know what’s still lingering inside the mind of the person set to control the world’s biggest military. The way we pick the President now is like bungee jumping without measuring to see if the cord is too long. This weeding-out-via-technology will be best for everyone involved. And hopefully we’ll be able to narrow the candidate pool to people who were raised in a loving, caring environment where people weren’t constantly at each others throats.
With that much data available on potential candidates, they are going to have to include a “none of the above” option.
You’ve made me wonder what the teenage Bill Clinton must have been like. Much like the adult Bill Clinton, I suppose.
Do these NSA folk have the ALL the video clips from online sex sessions? Asking for someone who definitely isn’t me. I’m asking for my mate Phill Y!
I’ve got this friend…
Hmm, I have the same ethnicities as Christie, and also grew up with some, um, “discord”…holy crap, why am I not a governor?! I fail again.
Run, girl. Make your backstory about being born with no head.
Yes technology will make it alot harder to be a liar!
Please don’t give us even more reality shows! 🙂
Everyone probably has some issues with their childhood and family, but what we really want to know about politicians is how they have dealt with those issues. And if their blood is red…or blue!
Or if they’ve dealt with them.
I just take it for granted that politicians ALWAYS embellish their stories. The imagery of a June and Ward Clever family upbringing is, and likely was never a reality, merely a representation of the fantasies we too often are attracted to