WASHINGTON, D.C. Rushing into the breach between his boss President Obama and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Vice President Joseph Biden today suggested that Carolina and Dakota be used as models for a possible “two-state” solution to the Palestinian conflict.
Biden: “You’d double your chances in March Madness!”
“Look at the way people in North and South Dakota get along,” the Vice President said in a phone call made to sort of congratulate Netanyahu on his recent electoral victory. “People are fine together as long as you put a lot of space between them.”
“Would you like to come up and look at the official V-P seal?”
Biden injected himself into an apparently intractable international dispute in an effort to counter his growing reputation as the “Creepy Veep” whose hands wander over borders of propriety when in the presence of females he isn’t married to. “Biden has slipped among likely women voters who were asked if they wanted a medal or a chest to pin it on,” said pollster William Goring of Opinion Dynamics. “He would only win the Democratic nomination among such voters if his opponent was Bill Clinton.”
“Biden’s dozed off–maybe now we can get something done.”
President Obama has supported a “viable” Palestinian state with contiguous territory, but sought to distance himself from Biden’s proposal. “I’ve got both North Carolina and NC State on my bracket sheet,” he said, referring to teams that advanced in first round play in the men’s NCAA basketball tournament. “Joe picked the Dakotas.”
Just as good as the other solutions. I proposed that Israel and Costa Rica change places.