Hey Gang, it is me Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer. I am taking time out of teaching my training classes that no one is attending to discuss the very controversial book and movie “50 Shades of Grey.” Since I can’t afford a movie ticket, a book and I am no longer allowed at the library due to their “no loitering or sleeping after the library is closed” policy, this blog is going to be based on hearsay and speculation.
A very randy and arousing novel has been written about a young lady who is swept away by a handsome gentleman who is as rich as Ted Turner and starts backhanding her like Ike Turner during their tender bedroom moments. Some people say this all fine because it is based on fantasy while others argue that violence shouldn’t be glamorized.
I, Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer, feel that the real controversy with this book is that it implies erotica is only for the wealthy. I feel that we need an “every man” dirty book. I have decided since this book that was originally written as fan fiction, I would rewrite it again as fan fiction and again at a third grade reading level. Rather than Christian Grey being a billionaire that whisks his submissive gal-pal on his helicopter, I think our sexy bad boy should be Christopher Grey, a slightly overweight plumber who drives a white van. The thought of an older man being abusive to a younger, naïve and impressionable woman should be just as erotic even if his silk sheets are replaced with an old tarp that he keeps with him when he goes to job sites. I think theaters would be just as filled with as many movie-goers who would love to see a blue-collared romance with just a hint of physical abuse that we usually only see on an episode of Cops.
I have to run. I have an exciting career opportunity with Rob Van Winkle, music’s own Vanilla Ice. He called me last night and said he had a great furniture business he would like to start with me! Oh the possibilities….
Thanks for your time,
Cathy Gainer Corporate Trainer