Disappearing Bees Mystery Solved

A Wall Street bank has agreed to return half of the world’s honey bees and pay a hefty fine, after admitting that it took the insects as part of a plan to corner the Honey Futures market.

Scientists have been trying to explain why about half of the world’s honey bee population has disappeared over recent years. A number of reasons have been proposed, including the spread of a bee parasite and the impact of agricultural chemicals on the insects.

A New York City police officer uncovered the plot by accident. Officer Patrick O’Malley was patrolling the city waterfront when he heard a buzzing sound coming from an abandoned warehouse. “I often get a buzzing in my ears when I use my Taser too much,” said O’Malley. “But I hadn’t used it for a few hours.”

On entering the building he found a huge stash of bees. More stashes were subsequently discovered in other buildings.

Following a sting operation, the sticky trail led to the Wall Street bank. Bank officials confessed that they paid beenappers to take the insects and keep them under lock and key to force up the price of honey.

The Federal government has decided not to prosecute the bank’s officials. “They’re sweet guys and have promised not to do it again,” said a Federal agent.