With the upcoming Papal Visit just around the corner, the Philadelphia Department of Tourism has come up with a list of five things the Pope should know if he wants to have a successful visit in the City of Brotherly Love.
1. We are a real city–not just some buildings plopped somewhere between D.C. and New York. (The Weather Channel has yet to learn this fact.)
2. Don’t add drama and gestures when ordering a cheesesteak. Make your order concise and to the point and don’t take time to bless the food or the cheesesteak-making staff. Get your sandwich and move on as fast as your little pope shoes can carry you.
3. Never tell Eagles fans to turn the other cheek when it comes to the Dallas Cowboys. Not only will you lose potential converts, but there is a good chance your pope mobile will wind up with slashed tires.
4. We are open to miracles especially where the Phillies and Eagles are concerned. BIG, fast-moving miracles.
5. You can only buy your sacramental wine at state-run liquor stores. If you want a really good deal, go to Delaware like the rest of us, but watch out for Pennsylvania State Troopers at the border.