The news channel has accused “liberal, left wing, climate change fanatics” of planting the facts, and vowed to “exact an Armageddon-like revenge” on the perpetrators.
The channel had just finished a segment on the mysterious giant holes that have been discovered in the arctic region of Russia. Apparently, the holes were dug by global warming hoaxers. They have been removing ice from the region and dumping it in the oceans to make people believe that sea levels are rising. A study published this week by the University of Arizona and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration claims that sea levels along the North East coast of the US have increased by as much as five inches over the last two years. “Is it a coincidence that the giant holes are appearing now?” reported Fox. “These left-wing scientists won’t fool the American people.”
Fox said it is introducing safeguards such as fact-sniffing dogs to prevent “desperate lefties” from planting unexploded truths on the premises. The station was already on high alert owing to a dispute between its anchor Bill O’Reilly and “liberal gutter publications” that accuse the news man of fabricating parts of his reporting history.
The publications claim that O’Reilly was not about to knock on the doors of Adolf Hitler’s underground bunker when he heard the self-inflicted gunshot that killed the Nazi leader. O’Reilly was four years of age at the time.