Man’s Best Friend To The Rescue

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Dogs are amazing. They can sniff out bombs and they can find the drugs you’re bringing on vacation that you hid in your dad’s carry-on bag. They can understand human facial expressions. Dogs can even sense illness in humans and predict seizures. But things have just moved to a whole new level of amazing.

The Huffington Post recently reported on research suggesting that dogs have such a high level of social intelligence that they can tell when a human is trying to fool them. Once perfected, the practical applications of this skill will be widespread. Just picture these scenarios:

* A guy with no neck and arms as big as trash cans is being interviewed. A reporter asks the guy if he used steroids to achieve that new Major League Baseball home run record. When the guy says “Nope, all natural talent” a dog at the reporter’s feet starts howling.

No lawyers, blood tests, or PR denial-campaigns needed. We go straight to the truth.

* Three GOP candidates are debating during a Presidential election. One guy grins and says “During my presidency we’ll focus on shoring up the middle class and improving economic mobility.” The five dogs sitting in the front row start barking their heads off.

But here’s what I see becoming the most important application. Having a media we can trust is essential. But lately we’ve had a string of high-profile newscasters caught lying about their roles in dangerous events like wars and natural disasters. So picture this:

* A reporter is standing up to his knees in water. The wind is howling. He looks into the camera and shouts “Bob, I see a corpse floating down the street. Its skin is totally white. And rigor mortis must’ve set in, because the body is stiff.”

When the camera shifts to the floating corpse, a truth-sniffing dog starts howling. The dog knows a department store mannequin when it sees one.

There is so much potential here for Man’s Best Friend to save Man from himself.

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10 thoughts on “Man’s Best Friend To The Rescue”

  1. As the only Republican here (yes, we DO have a sense of humor!), I heard that “If you like your dog, you can keep your dog!” bantered around the White House.

    1. Obama liked his dog … with a little salt and steak sauce!

      By the way, you’re not the only Republican here; I served two terms on our town council as a Republican, although I tend to think of myself as independent.

      1. Whew! I sang at least 2,345 choruses of, “One is the loneliest number,” until your comment. I tend to think of myself as the new political party, Common Sense, something both Dems and GOPs lack.

        1. So … you’ve pretty much got that song memorized, then!

          The Common Sense party, I like that. It’ll have a small membership, of course.

  2. Okay, this one rocks hard. I would like to just add one more part to the GOP debates – assign a dog to each candidate and, instead of barking, have them chomp down hard on their ankles with each lie. We’ll get some truthiness out of them in a big fat hurry!

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