Muzak

DISCLAIMER: I am a terrible poet. I don’t promise anything here except laughs. If you want good funny poetry, read Ogden Nash.

(To be sung to the melody of “SILVER BELLS”)

VERSE 1

See the malls, crowded malls
And the big neon lights,
And the shopping carts crowding the aisles.

Children fussing, people cussing
As they break out in fights,
And from every loudspeaker you hear

REFRAIN

Muzak! Muzak!
It’s Christmas time, that is obvious
You don’t care to hear it blare,
But soon it will be Christmas Day.

VERSE 2

See the races for parking spaces.
Watch the tempers go snap,
As the shoppers get red in the face.

Children crying like they’re dying,
Sitting on Santa’s lap,
And above all the din you hear

REFRAIN

Muzak! Muzak!
It’s Christmas time, that is obvious
You don’t care to hear it blare,
But soon it will be Christmas Day.

Kathy Minicozzi is the author of Opera For People Who Don’t Like It