Opinion: Swastika Should Return to German Flag | HumorOutcasts

Opinion: Swastika Should Return to German Flag

June 24, 2015
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I think it is time to accept that post-WWII Germany’s prohibition of the swastika has been a complete failure. The country outlawed the symbol and changed its flag, naively thinking that it would eliminate Naziism. But here we are 60 years later and there are still Nazis! I hear they are still in several prisons, and this was proven by their frequent depiction in HBO’s prison drama, “Oz”. So naturally, it should go back on the flag pole since this experiment to eradicate Nazis from the globe was such a fiasco. Nazis are gonna do what Nazis gonna do, am I right?

Nazi

Often these politically correct policemen make judgments without weighing the consequences. If they would only know their history. The swastika wasn’t even invented by Germans, so to try and tar Germans with that Nazi brush is insane and just diminishes the ability to celebrate a sacred Hindu and Buddhist symbol! Now who is being intolerant? The swastika has historically been considered a lucky omen and maybe banishing it from the flag has harmed Germany’s luck? Back in the 20th century, Germany was able to conduct two entire world wars. Since the banning of the swastika? Not even one!

Another problem is that when Germany goes to compete in the Olympics, no one even remembers what the German flag looks like. Put the swastika back on the flag and that problem vanishes overnight. The swastika has a very high recognition rate. It’s just a deep part of our culture. Remember that beloved 80s show where cousins Klaus and Johann drive around in an old swastika-emblazoned BMW, eluding corrupt government agents and law enforcement? They had hearts of gold. But try to even find that in syndication these days!

The swastika is actually seen by many not as a symbol of hate, but one honoring the many Germans who fought so bravely for their homeland in WWII who did not do anything wrong. Should we paint everyone with a broad, terrible brush, just because of a few bad apples? Yes, Hitler was bad, but must we not honor the people who were not Hitler? It’s so sad for people to see a simple swastika and immediately jump to conclusions, assigning it a sinister meaning. I think that speaks more to the dark nature in the hearts of the critics than to any wrongdoing on the part of an innocent symbol. Those critics are probably just reverse Nazis, anyway.

The symbol actually goes back even further than originally thought, and once was found on a mammoth tusk from 10,000 BC. So refusing to place it back on the German flag is really just denying the history of practically the entire human civilization, which is really sad. Don’t people like civilization? I, for one, do not want to go back to an era where we have to carve things on mammoth tusks!

This is all just a function of a highly political slippery slope. Sure, Nazis were bad. But if first you get rid of the swastika, then next you are getting rid of all symbols and then beer and then all of a sudden you are rounding people up and putting them in camps.

Eric Hetvile

Wanted in 14 states. But those states suck, anyway.

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2 Responses to Opinion: Swastika Should Return to German Flag

  1. June 25, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    Positively searing. Love it.

  2. June 25, 2015 at 8:13 am

    Great satirical piece Eric! You always know how to paint that picture!



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