Pluto Files Injunction to Remove Videos of its Bare Surface from the Internet

Recent still and moving mages of the dwarf planet Pluto taken by the New Horizons spacecraft have taken the internet by storm, but today Pluto filed an injunction in federal court to have the images of its bare surface scrubbed from the internet in their entirety.

Pluto’s lawyers acted swiftly as soon as they were retained by the former planet. “This was a gross violation of privacy. Pluto chose this location in the solar system intentionally. Now if you are over 4.5 billion miles from the nearest living beings, there’s a basic assumption of privacy that we feel should be upheld by the court. And yet photos and videos were taken of Pluto with its kuiper belt down. My client finds the unauthorized release of these images to be embarrassing and feels that “dwarf planet” is not an appropriate moniker for the planetary body. My client wouldn’t normally mind, but that part of the solar system is very cold. Very cold. And if humans think that’s the real Pluto…”