Why We Have Golf

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When I was a teenager my dad and I used to occasionally play golf. Dad took the game seriously and was quite good at it. I, on the other hand, was a total hack. One time I drove a ball from the tee-off spot with all the force I had, trying to out-distance Dad’s drive. We watched as the ball sliced right and exited the fairway past a row of trees. Then we heard the sound of the ball tagging the aluminum siding of a house.

Dad looked over at me and said “Well, on the bright side we didn’t hear any glass break.” That was Dad, always the optimist.

I’ve never understood golf. But now I think I know why we have the sport. The other day I read about a US Senator who is facing bribery charges. The guy stands accused of trading favors for luxury vacations, campaign donations, expensive flights, and … golf outings.

Ever notice how many of these scandals involve golf? Jack Abramoff alone probably kept a dozen golf courses in the black by taking politicians on high-flying golf junkets. I think the reason we have golf is to help the public uncover sleazy politicians and make them go away.

Anti-corruption groups should try to bribe suspect politicians by promising them a golf outing. They’d fly some senator to a well-know resort destination. But instead of relaxing at a Jack Nicklaus course, the guy would find himself standing in front of a windmill at a miniature golf course when the feds show up.

At least that’d be funny.

 

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4 thoughts on “Why We Have Golf”

  1. I never understood the attraction of hitting a tiny ball with a metal stick and making it go into a hole in the ground.

    Hitting a hand-sized ball with a wooden bat and making it go over a fence — THAT’S a sport!!

  2. My husband plays golf and is retired. I have been looking for a new hobby for him. Senate corruption sounds easy and fun. Where do I sign him up?

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