I can’t make decisions

I Can't Make Decisions - Art

WIFE: So whaddaya want for dinner?

ME: Ummm—

WIFE: You wanna go out?

ME: Yeah. Sure.

WIFE: You decide. Where do you wanna go?

ME: Oooh, let’s go to Maria’s Italian Deli. They’ve got that really good manicotti. And cannoli. That sounds good.

WIFE: But we just had Italian food two nights ago. Where else would you want to go?

ME: Let’s go to Dave’s, then.

WIFE: That’s too fattening. What about Salt Creek Grille?

ME: That’s too expensive. What about BJ’s?

WIFE: We always go to BJ’s.

ME: Well, where do you wanna go then?

WIFE: It’s your decision.

ME: OK then. Everyone in the car. We’re going to Maria’s.

WIFE: I thought you didn’t wanna go to Maria’s.

ME: No, you didn’t wanna go to Maria’s.

WIFE: Can we go somewhere else? Anywhere but Italian food.

ME: OK, how about the Route 66 Grill?

WIFE: Isn’t that kinda like Dave’s?

ME: I guess it’s somewhat like Dave’s.

WIFE: How about Margarita’s?

ME: Is that where you wanna go?

WIFE: It’s your decision. Do you wanna go there?

ME: No, but if you wanna go there, then let’s go.

WIFE: No—just pick where you wanna go.

ME: I did pick where I wanna go. You didn’t like it. And you didn’t like my second and third choices either. So you tell me where you wanna go.

WIFE: Are you mad at me?

ME: No, I’m just hungry, so choose where you wanna go, and let’s go.

WIFE: I’m sorry—go ahead, you choose where you wanna go.

ME: OK, Maria’s.

WIFE: Maybe we should just eat at home.

ME: Fine.

WIFE: What do you wanna have?

ME: Spaghetti.

WIFE: But we just had Italian food two nights ago.

ME: How about meat loaf?

WIFE: Kinda fattening, don’t you think?

ME: Steak?

WIFE: Anything healthier?

ME: Pork chops?

WIFE: Hmmm—

ME: Chicken? Fish? Tacos—

WIFE: Which one do you want?

I went into the kitchen, got the cereal, the milk, bowls and spoons, and I put it on the table. I sat down, poured the cereal into a bowl, poured the milk, and I started eating. My wife and our son joined me.

WIFE: This was a good idea, sweetie. So whaddaya want for Christmas?

ME: I’ll shop for myself.


This story originally appeared in The Signal Newspaper of Santa Clarita, CA, in December of 2009. It is part of Michael Picarella’s published collection of newspaper stories, “Everything Ever After (Confessions of a Family Man),” which you can find at MichaelPicarella.com.

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2 thoughts on “I can’t make decisions”

  1. So, Michael, you write cereally? I like this. It has snap; it has crackle; it has pop.

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