Human Rearing


I think the term child-rearing is insufficient in describing the raising of an entire human being.

For example, the headaches and nightmares of raising a toddler pale in comparison to dealing with a teenager.

Teens are so clinically insane that they deserve their own term: teen-rearing.

This makes great sense to me. Especially the “rearing” part. Rearing actually applies to all stages of life: you have to wipe a toddler’s rear, you have to kick a teen’s rear, and then back to the wipe for an elder’s rear.

In regards to raising a teen, society has the rearing part all wrong.

I am a champion of cryogenic-rearing. This is based on the scientific evidence that a teen’s brain goes loopy until age 25.

All teenagers, on the day after their 13th birthday, should be frozen in a cryogenic chamber until 25, at which time they can be thawed and released into the world.

I might slip a few beers in there too so they stay cold.

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4 thoughts on “Human Rearing”

  1. Well, technically you don’t have to pay for college…but my husband and I wanted treated college like an insurance policy…insurance that they wouldn’t return.

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