Oh, politicians and the pithy things they say.
Here is Hillary Clinton in a recent interview:
Interviewer: Have you always told the truth?
Clinton: I’ve always tried to (wide-eyed).
Hmmm.
How does one try to tell the truth?
Is telling the truth like playing beer pong? Hey, I’m trying to knock the ball off the bottle, but it ain’t so easy (burp).
What does the trying part mean? Maybe it’s like trying to mix the perfect drink. The drink called Truth.
Sip. Spit. “Hey man, there’s not an ounce of truth in this. I asked for a double. I am enjoying the Bullshit mixer, though.”
Does Mrs. Clinton have a neurological condition whereby, as she approaches the truth, her lying neurons start furiously firing?
Maybe she’s so use to lying that telling the truth is a major achievement in her life. If you see her out one night celebrating with an expensive meal, you know she told the truth that day.
It could be that telling the truth is an important goal of hers, but it remains stubbornly elusive, like someone who drinks more coconut water to stay healthy, but keeps reaching for the gin and gun oil mixer instead.
Given her answer, “I’ve always tried”, wouldn’t the next question be, “and how successful have you been at that?”
Telling the truth should be like skydiving. You either jump out of the plane or you don’t. There’s no middle ground. Unless you throw an arm and a leg out, while the rest of you enjoys a bag of peanuts in first class.
Or, like being pregnant.
Wouldn’t it be nice to hear Mrs. Clinton say, “I’ve always tried, and I have a one hundred percent success rate – so far.”
So, let’s welcome a new word to the English language.
Tryth (n.)
Verb form, Trything. The act of trying to tell the truth.
The opposite of Lying, the act of trying, and failing, to tell the truth.
“And that’s the tryth. Blpphhh.”
That tryeth part is the hardest part of all?
Be tryeth to yourself.