National Debt Forces U.S. to Give Away States | HumorOutcasts

National Debt Forces U.S. to Give Away States

April 15, 2017

The national debt has reached $13 trillion. In an effort to pay off this enormous amount, the federal government has started giving away States to our debtors overseas.

national debt

The first to go was New Jersey, given to the Chinese, who immediately sent in troops to take over the municipalities and factories, and seal the borders. All dissidents were put in prison, and the secret police visited Bruce Springsteen and beat the snot out of him. George Soros was arrested and forced to act as a liaison between the “running dog” American capitalists and the “new order” Chinese entrepreneurs.

The Australians demanded seafront property and were not happy to be given Alabama. Despite this, they quickly put up surfing shops, replaced the hotels with backpacking hostels and started throwing wild parties on the beach. At first there was animosity between them and the Alabamanians, but when they realized that they were both redneck at their roots, they dropped their defenses and agreed to bugger the North and start a second Civil War for the hell of it.

Russia took back Alaska, causing gas prices to jump to $20 a gallon and Sarah Palin to wet her pants.

Arnold Schwarzenegger claimed California for Austria, setting off riots in the Senate. Further shock was added when 90% of Austria moved to California for the beaches and sunshine and promptly kicked out all the Auslanders (foreigners, or, in their eyes, anyone not white) except Sophia Vergara because she was hot.

Mexico grabbed Texas, setting off a revolt by Texans which resulted in a second storming of the Alamo which the Mexicans this time razed to the ground. George W. Bush was expelled as an illegal alien and a wall was built around the state to prevent illegals from getting in.

Liechtenstein (look it up on a map), Europe’s smallest country, got Nebraska which increased its size 50 times and made it a nuclear power.

Sweden took over administration of Pennsylvania and immediately let all inmates of the prisons free, made all beaches nude and made the restrooms and clothing unisex. These changes drove the Amish berserk and they packed up and moved to Canada.

Huge changes came when the Saudis gained Oregon. Major flareups occurred when women were required to wear burkas, which ended when it was realized they were really great for keeping the rain off. Religious police attempted to forbid social contact between unmarried men and women on the streets, but this grew difficult because of the numbers of gay couples holding hands and walking in the towns.

Passions flared when college football games were canceled because of mass stonings being held at the stadiums. The Saudis finally gave up their claim to Oregon because they couldn’t understand what the constant wet stuff was falling from the sky.

At the end of this process of settling the national debt, with only Arkansas, Wisconsin and Utah left in the Union, they voted to rename themselves Floyd.


I am a roamer and a rambler and on occasion I find time to sit down and write something. I was a regular on three humor websites and have had cartoons and mostly humorous articles published both in print and on websites in the U.S. and Europe. As soon as I can find the right place far enough back in the woods I will settle down and see what it means not to change addresses every six months. For some more serious reading try The Book Of Songs from It is a collections of short stories about music and its interweaving in the unseen patterns of our lives.

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3 Responses to National Debt Forces U.S. to Give Away States

  1. Roger Freed
    April 20, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    If only we could give away LA…..

  2. April 18, 2017 at 5:32 am

    I predicted this myself several years ago, but I have a feeling your version is much more accurate.

  3. April 15, 2017 at 8:10 pm


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