#$!@# Christmas Ornament! | HumorOutcasts

#$!@# Christmas Ornament!

January 18, 2018

Before you packed the box of stuff in the basement under the steps, in the attic or in the cubbyhole in the garage, you did a double and triple and maybe even a quadruple check of the premises to make sure you had everything packed away.

Part of the reason is because, the Christmas decorations container is like a crock pot…once the lid is on, it does not come off until just the right time.  Besides, you don’t want to give those secret evil elves access to get in to the box and tangle up those Christmas light wires.

So there ya are…looking forward to Punxy Phil Day and BOOM!  That one @#$@@!* decoration is lurking in a corner of a shelf.  Did that thing escape from the box or did someone actually forget it?  Even more, do you choose to throw it away, tuck it in a junk drawer or do you dig out the Christmas decorations box and put the thing away?

All that I know is that, when I lose my ATM card, I go for 3-4 days without saying anything because I don’t want to admit that it is missing.. I know it will turn up. And, do you know when it turns up?  Within 2-3 minutes of me admitting to someone that I have lost my ATM card!

Same thing with this damned Christmas ornaments!  “Are you SURE you got all of the ornaments in the box?”  My response: “Yes, OF COURSE! What? Do I look like some kind of idiot?”

And damned if that person who asked the question isn’t the one who finds that random ornament that missed the pack-up!!!

Hey random Christmas ornament, I’m not sure who you’re trying to show off for or trying to show up but, this is MY turf!!  I guarantee, next Christmas, you’re getting a spot outside on the porch where you’ll freeze and rust and you will be hollering at me to rescue you and pack you away in that box, Ya Jagoff!

John Chamberlin

I write about Jagoffs, i.e. stupid politicians, awful sports officials, dumb criminals, bad drivers, ignorant people and on and on. BTW, Jagoff is NOT a swear word. It can be just as confusing as their, there and they're. Sometimes it's actually used as a term of endearment. My Pittsburgh blog is YaJagoff.com. Twitter is @YaJagoff.

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One Response to #$!@# Christmas Ornament!

  1. January 18, 2018 at 11:26 pm

    I keep one small Christmas box out every year for just such a thing … usually I find the last Christmas item around early March.

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