Don’t Book On It | HumorOutcasts

Don’t Book On It

September 10, 2018
By

The Woodward book’s a total Joke; I’m going to write my own.
I’ll write it in between the tweets, while tapping on my phone.
I’m going to write a real book; spill all the beans on Mueller.
Using all the best words, ‘natch — with pictures you can color.

I’ve written twenty other books; was never sued for libel.
I’ve heard it said my sales are second only to the Bible.
I’ll throw a book launch party, with champagne and glitz and glitter.
A selling point will be that I’m the Hemingway of Twitter.

I’ll tell the truth about the goings-on within my White House.
A smooth machine, run only by the best there are — despite doubts
About my mental fitness and my temper (called “volcanic”);
Dismissing all reports regarding deck chairs and Titanic.

All sources will be verified, with quotes for attribution.
I’ll recommend some re-writes to the U.S. Constitution.
A forward by Sean Hannity, a blurb from Ingraham –
Reviews filled with superlatives about how great I am.

This book will prove to everyone: for office, I am qualified.
My critics, once they read it, will most certainly be mollified.
Upon completion, no one will still think of me as villainous.
It will become required reading; part of every syllabus.

And while I’ll surely use this book to get in several well-earned licks,
My expertise goes far beyond just real estate and politics.
I know more than most anyone about a lot of things, of course:
Avoiding income taxes, and how pre-nups help with a divorce.

I’m sure I’ll win most every prize that’s handed out for literature:
A Pulitzer, Man Booker – and the Nobel’s one I’ll win for sure.
Then I’ll record the audio, since I don’t ever slur my diction.
Best of all — nobody else will know it’s all a work of fiction.

John Branning

Read more of John Branning's posts at JohnBranning.com, with his political verse now found at TheTrumpPoems.com.

More Posts - Website - Twitter

Share this Post:


User Login

New Release
How to Write and Share Humor
By Donna Cavanagh Published by HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle


New Release
The Astounding Misadventures of Rory Collins
By Brian Kiley and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



New Release
Rats, Mice, And Other Things You Can't Take to The Bank: An Inspirational Collection of Essays from Humorous to Simply Human
By Leslie Handler. and HumorOutcasts Press

Available in Paperback and Kindle



Archives