Today I am grateful for good sleep. But it took my brain a while to hone down today’s topic. Y’see I haven’t been sleeping very long these days. I sleep pretty well, just not long enough. I function well with 7-8 hours a night, but these days I’m lucky if I can manage 5-6. It doesn’t sound like much of a difference but it is for me. I have no trouble getting to sleep, I just can’t get back to sleep when I wake up in the middle of the night.
Before you start telling me to search the internet for the perfect Zen solution, don’t bother. I’ve searched it all. . .in the middle of the night. . . because some suggest to just get up and accomplish something. Great. I can accomplish writing my blog or poking around my search engine for all manner of stuff to further freak me out and then that stuff can help keep me awake, too. Swell.
Other sites say “STAY OFF ELECTRONICS” so I tried that, sitting in a chair watching the street light reflect its different colors in my patio door. A billion times. And someone says to keep your house cool at night. If I make it any cooler, Himself will accuse me of making him sleep in the Tundra. One said to not turn the TV on, but at 1:30 a.m. sometimes “Frasier” reruns do the trick. So far I’ve avoided dropping big bucks on the cool “As-seen-on-TV” jimcracky, but it’s only a matter of time.
When I read a book during the day I nod off after about two chapters or ten minutes, whichever comes first, but if I pick one up in the middle of the night I’m up for the day. And yes, I’ve done the yoga/meditation/deep breathing exercises, even adding a little “ohhhmmmm” to keep my mind from ruminating over stuff for which I have no control.
I’ve tried channeling great lines from movies. “Clear the mechanism” is a line a baseball pitcher used to clear out the crowd noises before he threw the ball. That used to help. But not lately. Here’s me working that one, “Clear the mechanism, clear the mechanism. . .what mechanism? How do I get it clear if I don’t know what it is? Oh wait, it’s my brain. Yeah, that’s it, my brain worrying about my country, my sick friends, my schedule, my menu for tomorrow. . .yeah, that’s the stuff I have to clear out of there. That’s my mechanism. Hmm, mechanism, what a cool word. I like words that end with ‘ism’. They ring nicely and can be held like a note at the end. Mechanismmmmmmmmm. Clear is an okay word, too, but much more cryptic. I wonder if they still make Clearsil? I’m sure glad I haven’t had a zit in a while.” Oh boy.
Another line from a movie I’ve used when I’m frustrated about something is “Would it help?” Here’s how that one goes in my pre-dawn stupor. “What is going on in the government? How can we have come to this point of lying and name calling and dishonesty and rash decisions? I’m so proud of those kids who are marching, but what kind of world will they have. I’m worrying. I need to sleep. Would it help to worry? Maybe I should. . .would it help? No, I know it won’t, but. . .would it help? Deep breaths, too. Ah. Would it help? Another deep breath, feel your hands raise on your stomach with each breath. Ohhhmmmm. Would it help? Will he be okay, will she be okay, will I be okay, I wonder if our taxes are done. Oh man I forgot to get the oil changed in my car, but the bills are paid so that’s good and I need to call the skin doctor, too. I’m spinning out of control. Would it help? No! Oh crap! Now I might as well get up!” At 4:30 a.m.. So here I am! At the keyboard.
While I am playing all of this out in what’s left of my brain, Himself is peacefully out like he was hit by a hammer. But I didn’t hit him. Honest. I try not to resent him, but boy, when you are up wandering and the guy next to you doesn’t even know because he’s zonked like a kid after a full-day at Disney, that’s another frustration.
I’m blaming the time change. Yeah, that’s it. It’s the time change. Damned time change. What’s next, smoke detectors beeping? We should put those new batteries we bought in them today. Otherwise they’ll probably start beeping in the middle of the night when Himself can’t hear them and I’m counting the seconds between beeps. Twenty eight, by the way. I counted during my Autumn sleep-deprived-rodeo! Oh boy, something new to think about. I need to get some really good sleep. . .maybe when. . . I’m. . . tyyyyppppppppppingggggggggggg………………………….
To read more of my “gratitudes” go to http://heartprintsdotcom.wordpress.com