Running tests our endurance and our speed, holidays test our patience. For every family member who supports our passion, there are others who think we’re nuts. Here are some less than diplomatic comebacks for those well-meaning but ignorant comments at family gatherings. You won’t want to say them out loud, but you can think them while you’re counting to 10 and coming up with something appropriate to say.
Mother: “It’s the holidays. Can’t you give that exercise nonsense a rest for one day? I honestly don’t see the point.”
What you’re thinking: “I just had a full plate and I’m going back for seconds. Would you like me to make you a plate? Oh, that’s right; you’re doing Atkins this week, again.”
What You Say: “Not all of us are blessed with good genes like you!”
Uncle Bob: “So I hear you ran a marathon—what’s that, like 23 miles or something? Why would you do such a thing if no one’s chasing you?”
What you’re thinking: “Because now I know I can accomplish anything if I set my mind to it. Also, it’s 26.2 miles and has been since 1921. How can you not know that?!”
What You Say: “Guess I’ve always been a glutton for punishment.”
Grandma Susie: “You ran another race? If you keep this up you’re going to ruin your knees and they have to last you a lifetime.”
What you’re thinking: “Sorry, did you have one artificial hip replacement this year or two? I forget. By the way, for Christmas I got you new tennis balls for the bottom of your walker.
What You Say: “Good advice. I’ll definitely keep that in mind!”
Jeff (your cousin): “You run in the winter? Outside? When it’s freezing cold like this? That’s insane, isn’t it? I mean, are you really telling me you’d actually run in the snow?”
What you’re thinking: “FYI, they make these things called hats and gloves and they’re remarkably effective.”
What You Say: “Yes.”
And so it goes. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.