Jagoff Peanut Butter Jars | HumorOutcasts

Jagoff Peanut Butter Jars

January 25, 2018
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If you’re a peanut butter eater, you will get this.  If you are NOT a peanut butter eater, you WON’T get this so hit SHARE,  move along and get ready for tomorrow’s Ya Jagoff podcast with John Fetterman.

As a peanut butter eater, who is coming to the end of the peanut butter in the jar, two things happen:

1) As you scrape your knife around the bottom inside edges of the jar, most of the peanut butter forms a little mountain of peanut butter in the CENTER of the bottom.  Thusly making it close to impossible to get it out.  You have to smash the little mountain against the side to get some on your knife, then you go back in and scrape and make ANOTHER mountain.

2) This one’s the big one, as you are scraping the bottom of ANY peanut butter jar, you end up with your knuckles covered in peanut butter from trying to work the knife down in.

This may sound piddly but, we can put a man on the moon, we have smart stoplights that know what time of day it is, we make virtual 1st-down lines on a televised football game, we have upside down ketchup, liquid soap containers AND soap containers that make foam, plastic coffee containers that turns out are the same containers for house paint but….. the peanut butter jar hasn’t changed since it moved from glass to plastic?  Hell, even BUTTER moved to a big ol’ tub!!!!!  When is the last time anyone changed ANYTHING about peanut butter other than making it HORRIBLE by trying to make it Low Sodium????????

Hey Jiff, Skippy, Peter Pan, Smuckers and the rest of you, it might be time to re-think this peanut butter container thing.  I’m tired of PBK’s (Peanut Butter Knuckles). Sure, the back of my hands look nice and young from all of the oil that has soaked into them every morning over the years.  But I’d REALLY like to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar without feeling like the banana on an Elvis Presley sandwich,  Ya Jagoffs!

John Chamberlin

I write about Jagoffs, i.e. stupid politicians, awful sports officials, dumb criminals, bad drivers, ignorant people and on and on. BTW, Jagoff is NOT a swear word. It can be just as confusing as their, there and they're. Sometimes it's actually used as a term of endearment. My Pittsburgh blog is YaJagoff.com. Twitter is @YaJagoff.

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2 Responses to Jagoff Peanut Butter Jars

  1. January 27, 2018 at 12:37 am

    Usually at that point my wife gives the jar to our dog–it’s his problem, then.

  2. January 26, 2018 at 4:21 pm

    Great idea. Let’s go get the patent.



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