Meet author Gail Priest and an Excerpt “Drama Queen” from her newest book Eastern Shore Shorts | HumorOutcasts

Meet author Gail Priest and an Excerpt “Drama Queen” from her newest book Eastern Shore Shorts

May 16, 2018
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We are so happy to excerpt “Drama Queen” from author and HO friend Gail Priest.

Gail Priest is the author of the Annie Crow Knoll series and Eastern Shore Shorts, a collection of short stories set on the Eastern Shores of Maryland and Virginia. Gail’s popular Annie Crow Knoll series is comprised of three books: Annie Crow Knoll: Sunrise debuted in 2013, Annie Crow Knoll: Sunset was released in 2014, and Annie Crow Knoll: Moonrise was published in 2016. She was honored to have an excerpt from Sunset chosen for PS Publishing’s anthology, Fifty Women Over Fifty. A native of Collingswood, NJ, Gail now lives in Haddon Heights, NJ. For seventeen years, she and her husband rented a cottage in Betterton, MD, on the Chesapeake Bay in a cottage community that was the inspiration for the Annie Crow Knoll trilogy and led to the publication of Eastern Shore Shorts. Gail is also a playwright. Her play Eva’s Piano was produced at the Dayton Playhouse in their New Play Festival. The Church Hill Theatre in Church Hill, MD, staged a reading of her play A Thing with Feathers.

 

From Eastern Shore Shorts

by Gail Priest

Book Description: Whether you’re in the heart of the Eastern Shore or the Eastern Shore is in your heart… Characters visit familiar local restaurants, inns, shops, parks, and museums as they cross paths through the charming towns and waterways of the Eastern Shore. From the female barber who runs into an old flame to a man who¿s held out for love too long, and from a cranky dog trainer to a meddling mother-of-the-bride, these folks will make you laugh, cry, and cheer as they follow their hearts and dreams.

PHILLIP

 I’ve always liked women, but not for the usual reasons men like them. The girls didn’t want to beat me up when I was a kid; they wanted to dress me up in their clothes and put lipstick on me. The boys, however, did want to beat me up and did so every chance they could. Perhaps it’s no surprise, then, that my best friend is a woman.

When I should have gotten off the Eastern Shore for college, I instead went to Washington College here in Chestertown, where again, I pretty much stood out as weird. Although I was able to stand up for myself by then, it was comforting when Kate accepted me. We became best friends the first week of freshman year and remained so all through college and into adulthood. It’s hard to believe we graduated nearly forty years ago; I haven’t aged at all. I can’t wait for that reunion. It will take a dancing bear carrying a blow torch to get Kate off her couch to go to the reunion with me, but first things first.

Kate’s been hibernating ever since Brad the Bastard left her for a younger woman a few months ago. Talk about stereotypes. Anyway, I’ve gotten Kate to agree to meet me for lunch today at The Kitchen at the Imperial Hotel. I’ll ply her with expensive wine before springing my plan for her relaunching. She’s going to fight me. I’d be worried if she didn’t. Her resistance will prove to me that she really hasn’t given up. I’m ready. I’ve moved mountains before with her; I can do it again.

When Kate arrives, I ask the hostess to seat us someplace quiet and private. She leads us down the hall, past the crowded dining rooms and out to the garden seating.

“It’s too hot out here,” Kate complains.

That’s just the point. It won’t get crowded. But I say, “You need some sun. You’re too pale from hiding inside your house.”

“I haven’t been hiding. I’ve gone to work every day.”

“Inside. You need some air. Get some color back into those lifeless cheeks.” I pinch her face.

“Okay.” She slaps my hands away and takes a seat. “I didn’t come here to argue.”

The hostess leaves us with menus. I think she’s glad to get away.

“Don’t let me order dessert.” Kate pats her tummy.

“Get whatever you want.”

“No, I’ve been eating too much. I need to cut back.”

“I hope you’ll drink some wine.”

“Are you kidding? Wine doesn’t count; everyone knows that.”

“Good.” I pick up the wine list to make a selection. Something dry and refreshing.

Kate shuts her menu. “I’m going to order a salad, so I can have dessert.”

I look over the menu. “I’m going to order an oyster po’ boy so I can have potato salad.”

Kate looks me over. “You never gain weight.”

“High metabolism, I guess.”

“I hate you.” She smirks and reopens her menu. “But yum, that does sound good.”

I keep my mouth shut. Kate always looks lovely. Brad the Bastard is an idiot.

She snaps the menu shut. “Nope. I’m sticking with a salad because the chocolate bread pudding is calling my name.”

“Whatever makes you happy.”

The waitress arrives, takes our orders, and returns with the wine. Once Kate has a few sips, she begins to relax.

“Thanks for getting me out of the house, Phillip. I feel better.”

“I’m glad.”

“Tell me how plans are coming for your niece’s wedding.”

“Chelsea has approved my design and the fabric for her bridal gown. My sister and her pushy friend, who is also the mother of the groom, tried to influence Chelsea’s decisions, but I kept her on the right track. It’s going to be stunning.”

“How exciting for her to have an uncle who is an award-winning Broadway costume designer. I hope she realizes how lucky she is that you’re doing her gown.”

“I love all my nieces to pieces, and my retirement from full-time work in New York has given me the time to make Chelsea’s wedding gown. I’m delighted.” This is the perfect segue into my plan of action for Kate. “I plan to keep busy. I’ll be designing the costumes for Sweeney Todd at the Garfield Center. They’re holding auditions soon.”

“I love Stephen Sondheim musicals.”

Our food arrives, and I pause from my strategy to try my oyster sandwich. “Oh my God, you have to have a bite of this.”

“No, thanks.” Kate stabs at her salad. “Brad and I saw the production of an Edward Albee play that the Garfield did a couple of years ago. It was depressing but well done.”

“Albee plays are always depressing. They ought to put a suicide hotline number in the program.”

“What was the name of that play? Not Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. Talk about torture. People yelling at each other for over two hours. If I wanted that, I could have just stayed home with Brad for the evening.” She takes a swallow of wine. “But I like most of Albee’s other plays.”

“I hate to admit it, but I do, too. It must say something about our need for psychological torment.”

 

Check out all work from Gail Priest and follow her on her website, Facebook, etc.:

 
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Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of HumorOutcasts.com (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books (HOPress-Shorehousebooks.com). As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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3 Responses to Meet author Gail Priest and an Excerpt “Drama Queen” from her newest book Eastern Shore Shorts

  1. Jennifer Shaffer
    May 17, 2018 at 7:52 am

    I’m so glad you posted this on your site. I love this book! Eastern Shore Shorts is a collection of vignettes set in the same small community on the Eastern Shore, and I love that each story is somehow connected to the rest. As I read each story, I became more and more engrossed as I spotted subtle connections to all the other stories. They are tied wonderfully together, yet each story stands alone. This is a phenomenal book!

    • May 18, 2018 at 9:10 am

      Thanks for the lovely feedback on ESS, Jennifer! I’m thrilled that you enjoyed the stories.I had a great time writing them. It took more time to connect the characters to one another, and I had quite the flow chart. But it was worth it in the end.

  2. May 16, 2018 at 12:00 pm

    Thank you, Donna, for sharing Eastern Shore Shorts on Humor Outcasts. Best Wishes, Gail



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