Let’s Start a #BeLikeTrump Campaign!

What does #BeLikeTrump mean? Well, darlings, it’s a hashtag that superfluously, exaggeratedly, monumentally, and exponentially glorifies your pompous view of yourself as seen through the eyes of a self-important despot, and is intended to cause this reaction – confusion and utter chaos!

As an example, suppose a t-rex, I mean, a t-rump enters politics and obliterates every construct of common sense and decency to the point where we are taken back in time to unknown territories, kind of like how the settlers who landed in the gold ol’ USA must have felt when women weren’t allowed to speak, let alone to vote, and when bullying, hypocrisy, and prejudice colored everything in pasty white.

Now put that “reasoning” in your head (temporarily – you wouldn’t want to keep it there very long), and imagine being so callous, cruel, pretentious, and arrogant that nothing but you and your ego matter. Now that you have that image firmly planted in your brain, may I offer you some examples of a #BeLikeTrump campaign#:

I am by far the most beautiful being on the planet and everyone who disagrees with me is FAKE and needs to be eaten by alligators. I am unlike anything you’ve ever seen before. #BeLikeTrump

I know words. I know the best words. I know words that nobody else knows yet. I know important words and bigly words and tremendous words and beautiful words. And I know how to make up words. As a matter of FACT my words are the greatest words ever spoken by anybody ever in the entirety of mankind. #BeLikeTrump

If I were any more intellectually superior to every living being on this planet, and to every non-living being on this planet, I’d be God. I AM God! I am the chosen one! I am very very very bigly smart. #BeLikeTrump

I am the most, the best, the greatest thing that has ever happened to this world – no – to the bigly beautiful Universe, which I created!  #BeLikeTrump

I am exceptional in every way, in all ways, always, the most exceptional person ever in the history of histories and in the future of all futures! #BeLikeTrump

You know I’m right. You know it and I know it. Not everybody knows that. I am the rightest and the brightest human since before The Paleolithic Age. I’m incredibly, tremendously right. #BeLikeTrump

Don’t ever call me stupid. You’re FAKE if you think I’m stupid. I’m the most unstupidest person who ever lived. I am tremendous and incredible and the least stupid person in all Universes everywhere. #BeLikeTrump

I never said what I said. I might have said it, but I didn’t say it, and that is verified as FAKE. #BeLikeTrump

I am generous. I am the most generous person who ever lived. I gave paper towels to people in Puerto Rico. Did you know they were part of the United States? Not everybody knows that.  #BeLikeTrump

All of my opponents are crazy Dodo birds. I give them nicknames, like Gourd and Deville. It’s like I always say, we have Gourd on one side and the Deville on the other – good spirits on both sides.  #BeLikeTrump

Nazis? I don’t like Nazis, but they like me, so what can I say? I am the most likable person to ever live on this planet. Everybody likes me. You know it and I know it, I’m the most tremendous, incredible person ever! #BeLikeTrump 

I don’t shout. I never shout. I am the most unshoutiest person who ever uttered a word in the history of words, which I made up – I created all words. #BeLikeTrump

I never said kids should be locked in cages. They should be locked in cages. They’re animals. I never said they were animals. I never say anything that I say, especially if you have proof, and even then I will convince you that YOU are FAKE! #BeLikeTrump

I should be given the Nobel Prize. You all think it, too. I AM a very very very tremendous prize. I am the greatest gift to women and to the world. The world wouldn’t exist without me. I created it! #BeLikeTrump

I didn’t lose money with The Trump Casino, Trump University, and Trump Steaks. They never existed – FAKE reporting! I’m the best success in the history of successes. I was a success before anybody heard the word success, a word that I created! #BeLikeTrump

I never tell lies – I tell alternate facts! Alternate facts are the best of the best and beyond the best, because they’re bigly beautifully best, like a tremendous, incredible, beautiful wall. #BeLikeTrump

Trust me! Believe me! If I quack like a duck, trust me, believe everything I say, even if everything I say seems to quack like a chicken.  #BeLikeTrump

And there you have it. I’m sure anyone could come up with lots more! So are you in? Show me your #BeLikeTrump hashtags!

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4 thoughts on “Let’s Start a #BeLikeTrump Campaign!”

  1. That had me laughing out loud. Bigly laughs. Hugely, enormously bigly laughs. #BeLikeTrump. NOT!!!

      1. And I’m very very very happy you’re happy. I invented happiness. I love happiness. I’m happy about happiness. Happiness makes me happy. And humor. Don’t forget about humor. I invented humor. No one is more happiest and no one is more humorist than me. No one. Ask anyone. But don’t ask the democrats.

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