Sleep | HumorOutcasts


February 14, 2019

Today I am grateful for sleep.  But I wish I could get some.  I’m on steroids for these miseries and I forgot how they mess with me.


I realized last night, when I was working very, very hard to get three, yes, three (3) hours of sleep that I should not take a steroid with dinner.  I have to get them all in by lunch time or I’m up half the night, twitchy and sweaty.


We are watching the Westminster Dog Show as I type, so don’t spoil it for me, since I’ve stayed away from today’s news so far.  It feels kind of good.  Who needs news when there are dogs?  I was still rolling around trying to find “my spot” at three in the morning.  When I woke up at six, I thought I must be on the floor of the grooming room at the dog show.  Stink much?  I know. . . I’m a really sexy gal.


My nightgown (the second of the nocturnal event) was soaked along with the pillows I was propped up on, which were soaked through to the other side.  It’s like I went to bed a popsicle and woke up just a stick.  I wish.  I am definitely down a quart.


I’ve never washed bed pillows before, but in they went and so did I. . .straight to the shower!  It’s not like I don’t bathe, but boy, this was embarrassing.  The good news is that I have no more fever.  The bad news is that the cough still sounds like I am a pissed off seal in a zoo.


This morning I asked Himself if I kept him up all night, what with my thrashing around and slamming pillows and getting up and bitching about how hot it was, then how uncomfortable I was and beating the pillows into submission and turning the TV on, then setting it to go off in a half an hour, then turning it on again.  Repeat all of the above a hundred times.  I’m exhausted from all of that effort.


Ironically I feel pretty good today.  I think it’s just because I’m so glad to be up and about and not working so hard trying to sleep.  My shift is over.

Mary Mooney

From cranking hair in my Midwestern town of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, to eastern Pennsylvania, to three years writing for large hotels in Jakarta, Indonesia, humor has been my constant.

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