Do you remember those memes from years back, when you put your name in and it gave silly answers to your life, future, who would rescue you in the zombie apocalypse, stuff like that?
No? Well, in social media time it was a century ago, so whatever. Anyway, I re-found this one recently: a purported list of outrageous facts about … me. I generated it back about, oh … well, it’s not important how long ago, never mind.
- About 100 people choke to death on Mark Hunter each year. (Hey, watch it with the dirty jokes.)
- Mark Hunter can use only about ten percent of his brain! (Thinking hard is, like … hard.)
- Mark Hunter once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest. (So sue me, I own only so many pillows.)
- The only planet that rotates on its side is Mark Hunter! (Maybe so, but at least I don’t have a ring like Uranus.)
- Mark Hunter can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid. (Thank goodness no one has thought to try heated acid.)
- 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Mark Hunter. (That, or Uranus.)
- During World War II, Americans tried to train Mark Hunter to drop bombs! (Then they found out about my notorious sense of direction.)
- Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw Mark Hunter into a volcano it would stop erupting. (Obviously they never heard about the intense heat thing.)
- Baskin Robbins once made Mark Hunter flavored ice cream! (It tasted like desperation and low self-esteem.)
- Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Mark Hunter in a day. (The only way to stop them is to rotate on my side.)
See, wasn’t that fun? I tried another one to see where I was on the political spectrum, but … that wasn’t fun at all.
Mark Hunter is a writer.
At least two Mark Hunters are writers, that I know of!
Mark Hunter is a poster.
I’m sure glad you added that “t” in there.