Florida Secedes from U. S. After NCAA Selection Committee Snubs FSU in College Football Playoff

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis dropped the S Bomb on Sunday afternoon, immediately after undefeated Florida State University was denied a coveted spot in this season’s College Football Playoff.

“You’re damn right we’re seceding,” DeSantis told reporters.  “What the NCAA did was beyond outrageous, and it has Joe Biden’s fingerprints all over it.  The U. S. government can go back to manufacturing flags with just 49 stars.  We’re outta here!”

When questioned, the Governor did not deny rumors that he planned to use secession as an opportunity to reintroduce slavery into The Sunshine State.

“I’m not saying yes and I’m not saying no.  But I’m sick and tired of living in a country where you can’t find a domestically produced, high-quality, all-cotton men’s dress shirt for less than $95.  I’ll just leave you with that thought for now.”

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