What I Did This Day

Pluto. Looks like a malt ball, doesn’t it?

1) Woke up.

2) Got up. Go me!

3) Worked on finances.

4) Showered.

5) Got dressed. The day is still early. Go me.

6) Went to the discount supermarket.

7) Got the things I needed.

8) Looked for targets of opportunity, also known as sales.

9) Put things away.

10) Organized the racks of canned drinks. Did you know that if you knock a fizzy drink to the floor, if can explode? Fizz goes everywhere, mostly onto the floor. However, a powerful jet made its way into my eye. Fortunately, thank goodness, that spray hit only the white of my eye. Even so, the pain was intense. But only for two seconds. Whew! And whew again. Thank goodness.

11) Caught up on people’s lives on Facebook(tm).

12) Made a shrimp cocktail

13) Contemplated the inequities in the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia.

14) Worked on a Thursday, New York Times(tm) crossword puzzle.

15) Read from Mary’s Land, a wonderful novel and designated bathtub book.

16) Finished fizzy bath.

17) Checked in Pluto. Resentment still festers about its demotion from planetary status. Right now, Pluto’s sadness dominates its anger. But if that changes, watch out! There’s nothing worse than an angry dwarf planet. I think I managed to talk Pluto down. It says, “Hi.”

18) Made hot dogs.

19) Finally got around to writing this blog. I had almost forgotten. Egad.

20) Sent my weekly condolences to Pluto for losing its full planetary status.

Behave yourselves.


– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.


Check out my novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback

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