Dear Lord, please forgive my Uncle Marty’s misunderstanding of my instructions. When I asked him to keep an eye on the kids while I went shopping he took it quite literally, Amen. […]
Last week I took my friend, Lisa, to the eye doctor. This is the Scheie Eye Institute, a very prestigious hospital dedicated to eye care. We’ve been there many times over the last five years. […]
4 y.o: Why do the Ninja Turtles have a fat head like you? Me: I don’t have a fat head. 4: Me: 4: Why don’t you know you have a fat head? — Exploding Unicorn […]
With age, comes wisdom. And, frequently, cataracts. (By age 80, more than half of all Americans either have a cataract or have had cataract surgery.) I’m having cataract surgery next week. Hoping to have a […]
Jill Y made me jump through hoops and I’m not talking metaphorically. She actually got hoops and made me jump through them to prove I love her. I love her now and I’ve always loved […]
You have probably been wondering why I haven’t been posting very much on Humor Outcasts lately. Either that, or you haven’t noticed. Whatever. Anyway, a couple of Saturdays ago I was sitting at my computer […]
A while ago my right eyebrow started twitching. This was accompanied by a strange throbbing at the edges of my right eyeball. So I emailed one of my sisters who is a surgeon. In a […]
I’m house sitting in Santa Monica. I brought no toothpaste but 2 bottles of Visine. The upside is that my teeth are no longer red.
It’s true that your eyes are the windows to your soul, unless you have a glass eye, then it’s just a window to your empty eye socket.