For Immediate Release
Springfield, Illinois – Representatives of Mr. Allan Pinkerton’s agency have reported finding classified documents among the papers and personal belongings of assassinated President Abraham Lincoln weeks after his burial here in Springfield. At the direction of the Sangamon County Sheriff, Pinkerton’s agents searched the receiving vault at Oak Ridge Cemetery, where Lincoln had been interred May 4 after the long funeral train from Washington, D.C.
The search of the temporary tomb netted a treasure trove of highly secretive documents. To the Pinkerton men’s shock and horror, several documents reflected the markings and scope of classified documents from Lincoln’s time in the Illinois State Senate. Pinkerton acknowledged that several documents were found related to aspects of Lincoln’s rival, Stephen Douglas, but refused to speculate on their exact nature.
Eight additional documents were discovered at the family home at 426 S. 7th Street, Springfield, under the horsehair and leather seat of President Lincoln’s rocking chair. Some of these are believed to be overdue bills that Mary Todd ran up for three hundred pairs of kid gloves in early 1865. Unfortunately, the documentation doesn’t indicate if each was made for the First Lady or other family members, who frequently wore gloves in crowds.
Mrs. Lincoln has long been known for her expensive tastes and frequently purchased bolts of silk and other delicate fabrics from France. According to sources, her clothing is believed to be primarily at the family’s beach house on the Delaware Shore, which will be inspected soon.
Family spokesperson and Presidential son Robert Lincoln said, “We have no idea how these documents came to be in Springfield. While our departure from the White House was sudden because of Father’s murder, we relied on our assistants to pack up what was needed to return home.”
Rumored among the family home documents is a clipping from the Salem (Illinois) newspaper that noted, “The truth is, Lincoln is only a moderate lawyer and in the larger cities of the Union could pass for no more than a facetious pettifogger. Take him from his vocation, and he loses even these small characteristics and indulges in simple twaddle which would disgrace a well-bred schoolboy.”
Contacted at his Foggy Bottom office in the District of Columbia, FBI director J. Edgar Hoover stated, “We watched Lincoln for some time and have quite a file on him. We suspect you will find numerous pictures of cherubic young women dressed in chintz and bonnet-style hats.”
Update: An unnamed highly placed government source reported that drone footage over Lincoln’s home showed six Pinkerton carriages parked outside the Springfield house. Sources believe that additional documents have been uncovered, and agents are conducting an inspection raid on the home.
I think I heard as a child that built into the foundation of Fort Wayne’s Lincoln Life Building (is it still there or called something else like Staples Center?) were buried many secret papers of Abe’s.
I used to work for Pinkerton’s, and my bosses never mentioned this. It makes you wonder if they’re not also investigating Johnson, or Seward?