I Gave Up the Major League Life at Forty
You can observe a lot just by watching. – Yogi Berra Say. Hey. I’m not a sports person. Given a choice, I’ll take tickets to a Broadway musical. But baseball has been the soundtrack […]
Author: Amy Abbott
Amy McVay Abbott is often cranky. She's been writing for publication since she was fourteen and covered the "School Beat" for a weekly newspaper. It was mostly downhill from there. Rather than scream, "Get outta my yard," she writes. Buy her books at https://www.amazon.com/Amy-McVay-Abbott/e/B00LI999SQ%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
Pinkerton’s Men Find Salacious Classified Documents Among Father Abraham’s Papers
For Immediate Release Springfield, Illinois – Representatives of Mr. Allan Pinkerton’s agency have reported finding classified documents among the papers and personal belongings of assassinated President Abraham Lincoln weeks after his burial here in Springfield. […]
Eclectic Documentaries Ken Burns Could Make and I’ll Watch Because He’s an Amazing Storyteller
1. Stripping wallpaper. 2. Microscopic close-up of a bunionectomy. 3. Narration of vacation pictures to the Agriculture Hall in Fame in Bonner Springs, Kansas at the Lions Club. 4. Narration of vacation pictures to the […]
The Megaphone Incident and 9 Other Reasons Why I’ll Never Be Governor of Virginia
I do not live in Virginia, though I stayed in a Holiday Inn there once. I was never a child who got into much trouble, but when I did get in trouble, it was because […]
Really Inappropriate Christmas Specials
Inspired by Keith Stewart, I decided to drag this one-year-old post from Medium out again. I’ve made a few updates. Here’s a list of this year’s featured holiday specials. Check your local listings. Twice ousted […]
Alien Probe May Arrive, Says Harvard Researchers
With all the major news happening in the world, you may have missed this startling story. Aliens are headed our way. The Pan-STARRS telescope in Hawaii first spotted an unusual object in space on October […]
Cut to a Windowless Room Under Red Square
With POTUS talking directly to journalists and broadcasters, the White House Daily Press Briefing may be as extinct as the Tyrannosaurus Rex. Why do 45s diatribes need interpretation when Himself is here, there, and everywhere, […]
Rabbit Skunk and The Roches
Forty-three years ago on October 11, 1975, I was a friendless, dateless college freshman in an all-girls dorm. I watched TV in the Schmidt Hall common room with the three overweight juniors who lived in […]
Helen Feyer America! My Transparent Campaign Expenses
As your candidate for Congress, I, Helen Feyer, feel a burning desire for full transparency with my potential constituents throughout our district. Here are my campaign expenses, explained: 1. Writing to my donors on a […]