A French demolition crew arrived by boat at Liberty Island in New York this week and commenced work on removing the torch from the Statue of Liberty’s hand which had been there since the statue was gifted to the US by France in 1886. It was the brainchild of French politician, poet and ardent anti-slavery believer Edouard de Laboulaye who was enamored with the new country when he visited following the Civil War that freed the slaves in the south. Laboulaye had a dream of erecting a statue to celebrate America’s sense of freedom and fairness. With support from none less than Joseph Pulitzer himself and financing from donations from him and the American public the project began in 1875 and was finished in 1886 to great and popular applause from around the US. That attitude has changed in our modern times however.
When questioned as to why they were doing this by New York authorities the boss of the group of workmen, Henri Hammer, replied that the United States was no longer “a light unto the world for freedom and democracy”. Henri stated “It has become a symbol for bull headedness and self interest at the expense of the rest of the world. It has also become a foolish jester on the world stage with the advent of a certain New York ‘Personality’ who insists that he represents America.”
The crews amputating the torch did precision work on getting it out of her hand without disfiguring the almost one hundred and fifty year old world famous copper sculpture. In its place they put a giant ham to symbolize what they said “more accurately represented modern America.”
The ‘Soon To Be Fuhrer” of America and born New Yorker Donald What’s His Face showed up to protest the removal of the torch bringing with him an elite group of henchmen who tried to hinder the operation. When they approached the French ship their own boat started to sink causing them to panic and swim for shore which was difficult because Donald had grabbed all the life vests for himself. It is believed that members of famed underwater expert Jacques Cousteau’s team had come along on the journey just in case such a resistance were to happen. It did and the Donald gang was all the wetter for it. The crack French divers were successful in their venture.
A more accurate modern rendition.
On their way back to France the French demolition team planned on dropping the pieces of the torch in an undisclosed place in the sea. A ceremony will be given attesting to the symbolism of the torch and to the death of America as being the beacon of freedom of hope it had once been. The area it will be disposed in will remain a secret so that the pieces of the torch cannot be retrieved and rebuilt.
For the eulogy at the burial at sea of the famed torch a leader of the Costeau team stated that “Today we bury what was once the hopes and dreams of many who came to this land, including many of our countrymen and many others from around the world seeking a freedom and liberty that did not exist at home. For over two hundred and fifty years the vast land known as America held that promise and abided by it. But all things must age and die and that goes for Liberty as well. Recent events in the United States have destroyed that dream and that hope and replaced it with fear, control, threats, violence and vulgarity. So freedom and liberty die in the hands of the ignorant and selfish.”
“But hope reincarnates eternally. What has been born here, thrived and then died will be reborn elsewhere. Already there are the blossoms of freedom growing in lands where once tyranny reigned. In such countries grow the seeds of Liberty which once were so apparent in the United States- Poland, the Eastern Bloc Countries, the Ukraine, Taiwan, Iceland, Australia, New Zealand and many others now can carry the Torch themselves which once blazed here and is now muted.”
“And carry on it they will!”