The reasoning behind JD Vance’s decision not to use periods with his initials was revealed on Wednesday, sparking a flurry of protests from the political left.
According to a disgruntled Gregory Lentil, a Vance campaign worker who was fired after it was discovered that he failed to kill anyone during his military service in the Iraq War, the Vice-Presidential candidate opted for “JD Vance” rather than “J. D. Vance” because he objected to the color of periods. They are almost always black.
A spokesperson for Vance confirmed Lentil’s account, stating that “the Constitution of the United States protects Mr. Vance’s right not to employ periods of color, especially if that color is black. The Supreme Court upheld this right in its 2023 decision, Piggly Wiggly Supermarkets vs. the Chicago Manual of Style. Case closed.”