We all knew it would end this way.
After Friday’s fracas in the Oval Office, Donald Trump wrote on social media that Volodymyr Zelensky was “not ready for peace.” The President of Ukraine responded immediately: “You want a PIECE of me, Orange Man? Name the time and the place, and I’ll be there. I will crush your puny man parts like a sledgehammer coming down on two withered tangerines.”
The steel-cage match, sponsored by World Wrestling Entertainment, will take place on March 22nd at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. It will be refereed by Linda McMahon, Secretary of Education and former WWE executive. The undercard will feature Secretary of Defense Pete “Goodfella” Hegseth squaring off against Ursula von der Leyen, President of the European Commission.
The cornerman for both Trump and Hegseth will be Vice President JD Vance, who — perched on the edge of a sofa at the Oval Office meeting — did his signature impression of one of the Wicked Witch’s flying monkeys.
All proceeds from the event will benefit the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library, which contains no books but offers plenty of swag.
Cool.