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Author: Janice Arenofsky

I write humor, but also books and serious essays, features and profiles, usually for national venues. I'm a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists , Humor Writers of America, and the American Society of Journalists and Authors. I live in Arizona, where it's hot, hot, hot (but very dry of course), and I have six dogs and two cats. Oh yes, a husband, too. I blog at https://humorbyarenofsky.blogspot.com/ Come and visit me there or at my website or at Facebook, where I'm The Dysfunctional Family. Got almost 1,000 followers. Join us.

What’s My Name?

August 14, 2018 Janice Arenofsky

When I first went to school, the teachers didn’t stumble over my last name. They just called me by my first name. They didn’t joke about my last name, which was “Moster,” because you didn’t […]

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1 CommentFiction

The Five Food Groups: Tofu, Sushi, Pesto, Godiva, and Sparkling Water

January 25, 2018January 25, 2018 Janice Arenofsky

If my mother (God rest her soul) had only known how eating would change over the years, she wouldn’t have spent all that time when I was a toddler pushing tapioca pudding down my throat […]

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Everyday Life, Fiction, Lifestyle

On Sabbatical

December 12, 2017December 12, 2017 Janice Arenofsky

I suspect that some of you out there in ha-ha-land didn’t realize I was on sabbatical. Some of you probably just thought I was a lazy lump of human ectoplasm who couldn’t hack the routine […]

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Fiction

A Tulip is Blooming

July 25, 2016July 25, 2016 Janice Arenofsky

I am so tired of the elections that I think I’ll retire to the bathroom and throw up. I am so darn sick of Hilary and the Trump tribe that I think I’ll commit hari […]

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1 CommentFiction

The Upside of Death

March 31, 2016 Janice Arenofsky

The dilemma I’ve struggled with for about nine months–which I guess is the normal gestation period for brilliance–is how to poke fun at the fact that you’ve just had to say goodbye to three old, […]

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6 CommentsEveryday Life, Lifestyle

Dead Giveaways You’re Getting Old

April 23, 2015 Janice Arenofsky

Nobody likes a crybaby, but nobody really, really likes an old person who acts old. And babies, kids and young gens X,Y,and Z. seem to sniff out those types very fast. It may be some […]

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1 CommentFiction

Things that Make Me Laugh

April 6, 2015 Janice Arenofsky

I’m sure some of you out there in blogland are wondering about me, specifically why this clever aging woman with a forked tongue writes such hilariously relevant personal histoires. And the truth is that I’ve […]

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Fiction

Happy is as happy does

March 16, 2015 Janice Arenofsky

To borrow from the old maxim “pretty is as pretty does,” “happy is as happy does.” It’s something my dear departed mother would have said in a fit of pique and usually when I was […]

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Fiction

The Glass is Half Full, but I’m Worried Since the Water Looks Cloudy

January 22, 2015January 22, 2015 Janice Arenofsky

You can’t judge a book by its appearance, but what about your doctor’s office? The other day I stopped by to get a blood test. It was the fasting type in which you skip breakfast […]

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Everyday Life, Fiction, Lifestyle

The Royals are a Royal Pain

December 8, 2014 Janice Arenofsky

Attention NYC and DC: The Royals are coming, the royals are coming…. Not all the Royals, of course! Only Prince William and his pregnant spouse, Kate. Is she Lady Kate, Dame Kate, Her Highness Kate […]

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2 CommentsFiction

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