This New Year I Resolve to Make Resolutions

I usually skirt the problem of New Year’s resolutions by avoiding them altogether.  That makes things much easier.  You can’t feel guilty about not keeping any resolutions that you never made to begin with.

This time, though, I am determined to become the best person I can be.  This will require effort.  I have not been working on the task of becoming a really Good Person since I was in Catholic school, where the nuns expected all of us to become saints, if possible.  That was close to 50 years ago.

So here goes.

  1. I will never again refer to the pastor of our church as Father OCD, even if he is like Detective Monk with a Roman collar.
  2. If I slip and call him Father OCD anyway, I will give myself a penance of three Our Fathers and Three Hail Marys, and make a silent promise that I will give him a more respectful title, such as his actual name.
  3. I will be polite to everyone, including all those annoying morons who call our office with dumb questions.  (That one is going to be hard, but if I am going to be a Good Person I have to start by being nice to everyone.)
  4. I will stop stalking and grabbing seats on the subway. No. Scratch that one.  That’s too much to ask of myself.
  5. I will take advantage of every senior discount I can get my greedy little hands on.  That is the only advantage of having turned 65 this year.  I might as well get all I can out of it.
  6. I will stop eating so many cookies, unless they are the kind that I really like.  I will just give those up for Lent … maybe.

Oh, forget it!  This is too much improvement to impose on myself at one time, especially that one about being polite to everyone.  I think I’ll just do as I always do, and ditch the resolutions.  It’s easier that way.

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5 thoughts on “This New Year I Resolve to Make Resolutions”

  1. Nah, it’s not worth giving any of this stuff up. If you do, it will make life miserable and what kind of year is that? I say “To hell with the resolutions.”

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