Being Catholic is Good for the Brain

They say that the more you exercise the memory functions of your brain the better it works.  This is otherwise known as “Use It or Lose It.”  If this is true, it is a good time to be a Catholic in English speaking countries.

I have been Catholic all my life (or, if you want to get technical, since my parents had me baptized as a baby).  We Catholics are creatures of habit.  We automatically kneel, sit and stand at the right places during every Mass, even though most of us probably can’t tell you when we kneel, sit and stand during Mass if you ask us at any other time.  They are reflex actions, like that thing your leg does when the doctor taps your knee.  The same thing goes for the verbal responses.  When the priest says, “The Lord be with you,” the automatic answer for the last 4 decades has been “And also with you.”  It comes out of the mouth before the brain even knows you have said it.

Everything changed in late November.  A new translation of the English language Mass was introduced.  For those of us old enough to remember the old Latin Mass and the first stirrings of an English liturgy right after Vatican II, this is nothing new.  The new translation is faithful to the old Latin.  But when you have been doing things a certain way for almost 40 years, it’s not easy to suddenly do an about face.  You get dizzy.

If you have some time to kill and want to know more, you can find it here:

The New York Times, November 27, 2011:  New Translation of Catholic Mass Makes Its Debut. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/28/nyregion/for-catholics-the-word-was-a-bit-different-amen.html?_r=1

As far as I am concerned, this would all be well and good if it were not for the fact that I am a paid “Leader of Song.”  I lead the congregation in hymns and sung responses at three Masses every weekend.  Even though I stand over to the side, next to the organ, two-thirds of the congregation can see me, and I am even more audible than visible, especially when the microphone is on.

So there I am, standing in my place, mentally repeating to myself, “The Lord be with you. And with your spirit.”  To make sure it sticks, I do it fast.  “The Lord be with you and with your spirit The Lord be with you and with your spirit The Lord be with you and with your spirit ….” My mantra is broken by the organist, who needs to tell me something about the next hymn.  While he is speaking to me, I hear the priest say “The Lord be with you,” and before I can activate my brain my mouth says, “And also with you,” right into the microphone, loud enough for the whole congregation to hear.  Fortunately for me, half the congregation is saying it wrong, too, so I don’t look like a complete idiot.

Some of the music that I sing had to be revised, also, to fit the new translations.  Again fortunately for me, I am highly trained in music, including sight singing, so it is no big deal.  For church singers who have to learn music by rote, though, and the organists and choir directors who have to teach them, this is a major migraine-producing pain in the patootie.

Actually, I have managed to get through a few Masses in the last several weeks without reverting to the old responses.  It’s going to take a while, though, to get the new ones to the point where they are just as automatic.

Hopefully, they will then leave it alone for at least the next 40 years.

 

Note:  This piece is meant to be funny.  If we can’t laugh at ourselves (including Catholics), there is something wrong.  I only ask anyone who responds to this article to do so with humor and not with put-downs.  Thanks!

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4 thoughts on “Being Catholic is Good for the Brain”

    1. I quit for a while myself, back in the 70s, but I came back, slowly and with a much less rigid outlook than I had been raised with.

  1. well, it’s a good thing they have you to lead the way in song. I could see how habits though are hard to break. This is why I have decided to avoid mass from now on. I think I can’t adjust. Not good with change. LOL

    1. Oh MAN! I attend three Masses every weekend, and I still can’t get the new translations into my head. I usually make at least one mistake at each Mass, hopefully while I am standing away from the microphone. I take comfort in knowing that everybody else in the church feels as dumb as I do.

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