Lately I’ve been having a series of serious nightmares that cause me to wake up screaming each afternoon. George Lucas keeps re-releasing the same Star Wars movie and I’m helpless to stop him. As terrifying as this is, the nightmares are actually getting worse. Lately, Lucas has decided to remake the original Star Wars with the original cast. This causes me to wake up screaming each afternoon and become physically sick. I then try to gather my thoughts and convince myself that it’s not real and is only a nightmare. I tell myself that there’s no reasonable way that he can get the original cast because they’re just too old. Then I look at a picture of Harrison Ford then and now and it’s all good again:
Wow! Pretty hot for an old guy! (Harrison Ford, I mean.)
I won’t be responsible for you stalking Harrison Ford.
I don’t think I’ll be stalking him. My knees hurt too much to do all that walking around and hiding in bushes.
That’s how it always starts. First the knees hurt and then you realize that you know a friend who knows a friend who’s a professional stalker. Then all of a sudden, the restraining order is taken out against you and then the weekend is over and it’s time to go back to work again.