The Mayan Calendar Apocalypse Debunked? | HumorOutcasts

The Mayan Calendar Apocalypse Debunked?

March 13, 2012

Epilogue: You will note that the two signs of Mayan apocalypse believers has come true: The election is over and the Obama won ( most people do recognize that fact) and secondly, Peyton Manning is indeed a Bronco and Tim Tebow is not.



It’s a sad, sad day for the believers who are preparing for the end of the world in December. It seems that the scientists at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory have produced  a video  explaining why Doomsday is not around the corner.  The video ( addresses the key culprits in the end-of- the-world scenario from a giant planet colliding with Earth to the shift in the Earth’s axes.  Whatever the catastrophe, NASA can dispel it.

This video comes on the heels of Harold Camping, minister and prophet extraordinaire, declaring that he is out of the apocalypse prediction business. Yes, it seems that three misses (at least) is enough to make the man admit he cannot predict the end of the world. To be more precise, Camping did not say he was unable to predict the end of the world; he said that he had no right to predict the end of the world and he was stealing God’s thunder with his prognostications which he now knows were sinful, thus explaining why God did not make them come true.

I know a few people who are preparing for the December showdown so I forwarded them the NASA video to get their opinions.  This is how their reviews on the video stacked up:

NASA is composed of mere mortal scientists and they could have rigged their results to come out the way they want, and the rigged results have allowed them to produce this obviously fictional video.

The growing anti-Christian government is trying to cover up the apocalypse to prevent people from being saved because that is what godless people do. Just ask the aliens in Area 51, who have also been prevented from declaring that they have been saved by the same godless government who is trying to ruin the apocalypse for everyone. (Those damn party poopers)

The video is already proving to be false as we are already seeing signs of the apocalypse. How else do you explain the all the sinners trying to undermine the God-fearing candidates and their campaign for President? And of course, the most recent and blatant evidence: the Denver Broncos’ desire to trade Tim Tebow if Peyton Manning agrees to sign with them.

Not one person, who I knew believed in the December 21st annihilation date, has changed his or her mind after looking at the video. I guess “you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” is still an apt saying.  Oh well, I personally would like to thank NASA for taking the time out of their valuable schedule to address the apocalyptic fears.  While many of us were relieved to hear their scientific explanations on the Mayan calendar prophecies, no one was more relieved than the retailers around the world who would have been posting their worst sales numbers ever, since the end of the world was scheduled during their busiest week of the year.  See, this could be evidence that God not only exists, but He loves Bloomingdale’s too.

Donna Cavanagh

Donna Cavanagh is founder of (HO) and the partner publishing company, HumorOutcasts Press which now includes the labels Shorehouse Books and Corner Office Books ( As "den mother" to the more than 100 aspiring and accomplished writers, producers, comics and authors, Cavanagh's goal is to allow creativity to flow. She is a former journalist who made an unscheduled stop into humor more than 20 years ago. Her syndicated columns helped her gain a national audience when her work landed in the pages of First Magazine and USA Today. She teaches the how-to lessons of humor and publishing at conferences and workshops throughout the country including The Philadelphia Writers' Conference and Erma Bombeck Writers Workshop. The author of four humor books, Cavanagh hopes her latest book, How to Write and Share Humor: Techniques to Tickle Funny Bones and Win Fans, will encourage writers not only to embrace their humor talents but show them off as well.

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5 Responses to The Mayan Calendar Apocalypse Debunked?

  1. Kathy Minicozzi
    March 14, 2012 at 10:22 pm

    I’m really glad to hear that we are probably not going to be pulverized just before Christmas. One question: what is The History Channel going to do now that one of their big ratings earners has been debunked?

    • March 14, 2012 at 11:09 pm

      They will probably run a debunk the debunker special! That would get readings!

  2. Deb Martin-Webster
    March 14, 2012 at 8:36 am

    Excellent article. Donna please thank NASA for this wonderful video!! So what they are saying is that we can expect more “Twilight” movies?? 😉

    • March 14, 2012 at 9:46 am

      I guess that is the downside of no apocalypse Deb! yes, more boring and uninspired Twilight movies

      • Jack Sass
        March 15, 2012 at 5:49 pm

        If another Twilight movie comes out, I’m personally going to start the apocalypse. Although I guess, we could duct-tape Stephenie Meyer to a chair and force her to watch them instead. Still, I think you’ve missed the point of “The end of the world.” It’s a good excuse to get drunk and laid, if you’re an over wrought sociopathic type. Even crazy people need a little loving every now and then. 🙂

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